be my everything

“And they have played the harlot, departing from their God.” Hosea 4:12

When we think about what is important in our friendships and relationships, words like “honest”, “trustworthy”, and “faithful” come to mind. We empathize with the bitter complaints of those who have experienced the pain of a cheater. How many of us would ever condone or praise the acts of those who are unfaithful?

We shake our heads at the twisted love stories found in Hollywood, not realizing that we do the same thing every day.

The Old Testament is riddled with what seems to be endless stories of the Israelites setting their priorities wrong. As I spend time in 2 Kings, 2 Chronicles, Isaiah, and Hosea, I'm struck by the similarities between our attitude toward God, and theirs. A common thread runs through each of the books which unites more than just their timeline. Despite being a nation of God’s chosen people, the Israelites exhibit a generational pattern of kings who rise and fall with their choices to pursue the world.

Time after time, God calls out through His prophets, beckoning His bride to turn to Him. Time after time, altars are built to serve false gods.

Most strongly through the prophet Hosea, God speaks to Israel and likens them to a harlot, an adulterer, a cheater. He loves Israel, but that love is thrown to the wayside and ignored as they pursue their idols.

In essence? Idolatry = adultery.

If we as the church are the bride of Christ, anything that we devote ourselves to above Him is adultery. As His bride, shouldn't we do anything to spend time with Him, to hear His voice? Are we committing adultery with the world?

The amazing part? God doesn’t react to me as a spurned lover and turn away. He patiently waits with open arms and forgiveness. His grace is sufficient, and my prayer is that He would be my everything.

God in my living, there in my breathing

God in my waking, God in my sleeping

God in my resting, there in my working

God in my thinking, God in my speaking

Be my everything, be my everything

Be my everything, be my everything

God in my hoping, there in my dreaming

God in my watching, God in my waiting

God in my laughing, there in my weeping

God in my hurting, God in my healing

Christ in me, Christ in me

Christ in me the hope of glory

You are everything

If everything were stripped away...

If everything I need were stripped away, would Jesus Christ be enough for me?

Well here it is: a new year. The task of resolution making stands in front of me, daring me to attempt to "reform my life" in 2011, waiting to laugh at my inevitable failure sometime in late January or early February.

Nearly a week has gone by in this new year, and due to some unexpected time off from work I've had a significant amount of time to sit in quiet. As I continue to pray and seek God's plan for me, one message repeatedly finds its way to the forefront of my mind: abandoning all to seek God first and foremost. If I look back at journals, I can find that for years I've penciled in a list of goals for the upcoming year, always topping it off with that elusive goal of seeking God more. But this year? I want to seek God alone.

I found the video below from Leslie Ludy titled "Three Questions" in which she asks the listener these key questions:

1) Where do you spend the best hours of my day? Do you wait until you're exhausted to have a Bible study? Do you spend all your best energy on things that are not focused on the Kingdom of God?

2) Where do you turn for rest, enjoyment, and pleasure? Do you go to His presence? Do you realize that a time in His presence, a prayer time, will give you everything that you need?

3) Are there things in my life that I can't imagine giving up? Would I be willing, if God asked me to?

If I analyzed 2010 by those three standards, what would I find? Unfortunately, there's not much to be proud of. Don't get me wrong, I do not regret the year. I accomplished a lot and met some fantastic people, but how did I spend my life for Christ?

In 2011, I want to say that the best hours of my day were spent focused on Him, that I turned to His presence for rest, and that He is the only thing that I can't live without. I desire to daily be aware of my need for grace. I don't want to walk past opportunities to tell the gospel. I want to be used for His glory. I want to seek after Him, and Him alone.

enter His gates with thanksgiving

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise, give thanks
to Him, bless His name. For the Lord is good; His lovingkindess is everlasting
and His faithfulness to all generations."
- Psalm 100:4-5

In a day and age when depressing is what sells newspapers and where complaining is easier in conversation than a positive outlook, it is so easy to forget the apostle Paul's encouragement to "give thanks in everything" (1 Thess. 5:18).

As Christians, I think we often quote scriptures such as 1 Thessalonians 5:18 without truly applying it to our daily lives. I wish that I could say that my attitude was one of continuous thanksgiving.

If you think you are a thankful person, I challenge you to sit down and write out 10 things you are thankful for. It seems simple enough, but it definitely humbled me as I sat and tried to identify things that I was thankful for. What are you thankful for? What should you be thankful for? What has God done for you this year?

I'm thankful for...

• My Savior - How amazing that even in my lowest moments, when I didn’t deserve to be brought out, all I had to do was cry out to Him to rescue me. So many things could have gone wrong, so many more mistakes could have been made, but in grace He reached down and opened my eyes. Thank You, God, for sending Your Son to take my place. Thank You for saving me.
  


• Family - We've been through quite a lot this year and are still pushing through. My parents have been a constant, always guiding us with their love and faith, showing us with their actions what it means to trust God. Each of my siblings has been to me the best friends that I could ever ask for. Honestly, I am so thankful to God for each member of the family and am truly blessed to be a Moonen.


• Friendships/ LOCC family – After reaching a point in church where my heart for serving became no longer a response of love to God but turned into a matter of obligation, He was faithful to give me a fresh start with encouraging friends. It is such a blessing to have found a group of people who live out their beliefs and encourage me to do the same. I am so thankful for this group of people!
  


• Graduation/ Time at USCB – The four years that led up to my graduation in May were four of the most amazing years of my life so far. God brought so many opportunities my way and there is nothing that I regret. I was able to achieve so much in my time at USCB, and I am so thankful for the support of the faculty and staff that I received while in school and on graduation.
  


• No student loans – This goes along with graduation, but I am so thankful to God for His provision for me in my time at school. I was so blessed with scholarships and stipends that I was able to work my way through college without taking any loans.
  


• My job – I have been given so much favor at the university, that at times it is overwhelming. Although this is not where I feel I will be long-term, I know that God has provided me with this job and I am thankful for it. I feel blessed to be able to say that I had a full-time position open for me after graduation.
  


• The worship team – Yes, at times there was confusion and hurt, but looking back I can say that I am thankful for the opportunity to be on the team. Although I have so much more to learn musically, I am glad that God allowed me to be there for the time that I was. I loved it and it was a great experience.
  


• SGM – In some of the dry times and the trying times, Sovereign Grace Ministries was only a few clicks away. Whether with a sermon from CJ Mahaney to challenge me, or just the right worship music to encourage me, SGM has always remained a pivotal piece of my spiritual walk. I'm thankful I grew up with such a solid background and that the pastors there are still able to encourage me.
  


• Elya – I planned on keeping this post as anonymous as possible, but I am so thankful for my best friend. Although I’ve only seen her once or twice in the past 5 years, she is always there with the perfect encouragement when it is needed. I am so thankful to God that He not only gave me her friendship but that He has continued our friendship through the years and distance. I would not trade her for the world!
  


• Constant provision – This is the only way to effectively sum up the fact that I’ve made it through this year in one piece, always with more than enough. Even in the moments when it seemed like things would fall apart, I can see that I had no reason to worry because God was always there, providing for me, lifting me up, and taking me forward. There were days this year when it seemed like life slapped me in the face with questions and situations that inevitably let to “why me” moments. Even in those moments, my Savior was by my side, holding me up. I can truly say that I am blessed.

defining love

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

It is so easy to look at this scripture and say "Praise God! He loves me so much to be patient... and never fail me!" But if this is the definition of love, and we ourselves claim to love him, what should that look like?

We would...

...be willing to wait for the things we ask of Him, knowing that His love for us is more important than anything else; speak highly of Him to those around us and not get upset when others do better or prosper more than we do; acknowledge that without Him we are nothing; conduct ourselves in a manner that glorifies Him at all times; seek to serve Him and others rather than serving ourselves; not become angry when things do not go "our way"; not complain when we suffer for the sake of our testimony in Him; not give ourselves to fleshly lifestyles, but rejoice in the truth of the gospel and a life lived for Christ; accept all trials and tribulations, know that it is for Him; believe in His word; hold on to the hope that He give us; and never give our time and energy to a pursuit above Him but hold Him in highest regard as the true love of our lives.

Does this sound like your relationship with God? While it is true that God demonstrated his love for us by first loving us and sending His son for us, when we claim to love God, do we understand what that means as we relate to Him?

devastating hopelessness

Never before have I come face-to-face with the hopelessness of a life without Christ. No matter what happens, no matter what comes my way, I have always known that I could turn to my Savior, cast my worries at His feet, and live with confidence in His grace. We become so complacent there, losing the awe having of a personal relationship with God among the daily trappings of life, not realizing the treasure we have in Christ. If we truly saw the gospel of grace as a treasure, wouldn't we be more quick to share it?

A student at the school who I led at orientation and helped throughout the semester committed suicide last week. When I heard the news and let it sink it, I slowly became sick as the emotion overwhelmed me. When the tears started, I immediately opened my mouth to pray and then realized, what could I pray for? Ricky took his life, and is gone. I could pray for comfort for his father. I could pray that his brother doesn’t make the same choice. I could pray that somehow lives could be saved out of the tragic situation. But helplessness and hopelessness soon enveloped me when I realized – I couldn’t pray for Ricky. He made his choice, and his destiny is now set in stone. Never before have I found myself in a situation where I couldn’t turn the situation to God, because Ricky had already made a choice and sealed his fate.

The hopelessness that I felt when I realized there was nothing anyone could do for Ricky is what nonbelievers live with every day. What incredible emptiness it must be to face life’s trials and not be able to rest in the grace and mercy of a Savior! I can only imagine how this hopelessness surrounded Ricky as he gave up on his life.

Hearing of his choice, I became overwhelmed with guilt for not sharing the gospel with Ricky in the time that I had with him. Our purpose as Christians is to glorify God with our lives, sharing the hope of the gospel with those around us. How tragic to get caught up in the daily trappings of this life to the point that we forget by whose grace we are here!

When they say that death haunts you with questions of “what if”, that is an understatement. What if I had slowed down enough to see beyond the sadness in Ricky’s eyes to minister to him, and share the treasure of the gospel that I have been given?

I pray that we all learn to value the grace found in the blood of Jesus, not as a ticket out of Hell, but as a treasure to be passed on to those who are hurting around us.

Lord, let me never ignore an opportunity to share Your love.

Sanctuary Lives... is He enough?

I recently had 10 hours to kill in a car and listened to an old sermon I found in my center console (it was one of the few CDs which didn't suffer from an explosive ranch packet... thank you South Carolina heat). The sermon was from Josh Harris and reminded me of the hope that we have through Christ.

Living surrounded by non-Christians, or those who claim to be Christian and yet do not live out their faith can become discouraging. So many times I've looked at the lives of those who do not even seem to care to follow the will of God for their lives, and they appear happy, even blessed with many things that I can easily become jealous of. How is that I spend time each week pursuing God, often giving up opportunities because I know that it isn't what He wants for me, and yet they seem to live stress-free, easily going after and getting whatever their hearts desire?

Asaph expresses some of these feelings in the 73 Psalm:

"For I was envious of the arrogant

As I saw the prosperity of the wicked

...

Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure,

And washed my hands in innocence" (v. 3, 13)

Particularly recently I've found myself in Asaph's shoes, struggling to accept the fact that by choosing to keep myself pure I have come face to face with not only ridicule from others, but envy within my own heart.

Asaph quickly reminds us, however, that these struggles shouldn't matter if Christ is truly enough for us.

"Nevertheless I am continually with Thee;

Thou hast taken hold of my right hand.

With Thy counsel Thou wilt guide me,

And afterward receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but Thee?

And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth.

My flesh and heart may fail,

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Asaph tells us that he "came into the sanctuary of God" and was there reminded of the fact that the wicked will receive their judgment in the end. Until then, why does it matter if they exalt themselves with pride? If God is truly all that we desire on earth, we should rejoice in the fact that He is reminding us daily of our need for Him.

Something to take away from the sermon is that we need to lay aside our envy of others and stop living in our own imagined future. Discontentment would not have such a strong reign in our hearts if we didn't create our own future in our minds. We become disappointed when life does not turn out the way that we want, but if we laid those desires aside for Christ, we would find our hope fulfilled in Him. If we fix our gaze on Him, we are able to step into His sanctuary. But we need to choose to draw near to God.

I desire to live a "sanctuary life", daily in the presence of God so that I am reminded and encouraged of the fact that He is all that we ought to desire on earth. No matter what happens within our physical surroundings, may He be the strength of our hearts... our portion forever!

leaving the student behind

It's been one week since my graduation, and I've struggled every day to sit down and write something stirring to sum up the past four years of my life. Every time I try, nothing comes to mind that will do it justice. I've thought to make a list of all the things I was involved in, write out all the opportunities that came my way, or sufficiently describe how my life has changed, but nothing captures the feelings that are overwhelming me as I leave the title of "student" behind.

Last week, I stepped onto the makeshift stage outside the Hargray building of USC Beaufort, and accepted congratulations from the President of USC in the conferring of my degree. Four years of hard work, little sleep, memorization, and all-out commitment culminating in an hour long ceremony, two minutes on stage, and a few scattered pictures. Summa cum laude, and various other honors in tow, I stepped on the stage and stepped out of the role of a student once and for all.

So here I am, USC Beaufort's Student of the Year, winner of the Business Program Award, and the equivalent of valedictorian. Was it worth it?

The experience has been unbelievable. I have seen and done so many things that I could not have dreamed of when I graduated high school. And yet, my greatest hope is that I was able to touch others through the positions that I was given.

As I move forward, I pray that God takes the talents, knowledge, and abilities that He has stirred within me these past four years and that He molds them to His purpose. After the incredible experiences of college, I refuse to settle for a mundane existence, and look forward to the place He has prepared for me!

"...that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects..." - Colossians 1:9b-10a

We made it! Soli deo gloria.